Tuesday, April 1, 2014

You Might As Well Laugh: More Nonprofit Jokes

Feeling worn down with worry about raising enough money to fund your programs? Or burnt out by problem board members? Take this short timeout to laugh - I promise it will make you feel better.

     How many board members does it take to change a light bulb? It totally depends on the composition and skill set of your board. 
     If there is an electrician or handyman on the board, it only requires one. 
     But if there's a founder on board, the founder will probably insist that the old bulb is perfectly good and there is no need to change it, so you'll need a second member to create a diversion. 
     And if your board operates by consensus, you're going to need everyone to participate in order to change the darn bulb.

     A development director goes to a very devout donor and asks that he give what he can as God directs. 
     The donor says, "Give me a minute while I pray about this," and goes off into a corner to pray. He comes back and says, "God has told me to give $2,000." 
     The development director says, "May I pray for a moment as well?" and goes to same corner and prays. After five minutes she returns and says, "God wants to talk with you again."

     Benny's dog has died and he goes to see his Orthodox rabbi. "Rabbi, I wonder whether you could find the time to say a special blessing at my dog's grave?"
     The rabbi replies, "I'm afraid it isn't possible, Benny. In fact, the rules don't really make any allowance for animals."
      Benny says, "But I'm really upset, rabbi."
     "So maybe you should go to see the Reform rabbi over the road," suggests the rabbi.      
      As Benny walks away dejectedly, he turns to the rabbi and says, "What a shame. I was willing to donate $1,000 for such as service."
     At which point the rabbi shouts, "Come back, come back!"
     Benny turns around and says, "I thought you couldn't help me."
     "Ah," says the rabbi, "but you didn't tell me your dog was Orthodox."

Try these at your next board or staff meeting - it's remarkable how a moment of frivolity and laughter can really promote cooperation and teamwork. Have any good nonprofit jokes or stories of your own? I'd love to add them to my collection! Post one in the comments section, or email me at cjay@horizoncable.com.